All Clogged Up - Common Problem After Bariatric Surgery

There is a lot of things your bariatric team usually don't tell you before you actually have bariatric surgery.

Maybe they don't say anything because they don't think about it or don't think that it's a point that should be mentioned.  They usually only tell you the bullet points they have in their presentation to persuade you to actually have the operation.  Lets face it, it's a major life changing thing that you are doing to yourself and maybe there just isn't enough time in the day to go over every little single thing that may or may not happen to you, right?

Well I'm here to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly of what happens to a person after they have Bariatric Surgery.

Today's Topic - Constipation...

This is a very real problem and more than just annoying, it can damage you, keep you from losing weight and cause havoc with your insides.

I found that initially it wasn't much of a problem.  I have never been a "regular" pooper but I'd say about 9 months after I had the surgery, things went south and have never really corrected themselves without some help.  I thought at first it was because of the matra, "protein first" and I dutifully always ate my protein before anything else.  Anyone with this tube of a stomach can tell you, if you eat protein first, there isn't really much room for anything else.

I also thought that maybe it was all the vitamins you take at first?  I was on a multi + iron, b-12 sublingual and b-6 sublingual.  Or maybe I wasn't getting enough fiber?  After all, I don't really eat bread anymore except for the occasional piece of toast.  I have also been told that it could be because I am dehydrated and do not drink enough water during the day.  Water is hard for me, I have to mix things into it to get it down.

Whatever it is, it seems that I am not in the minority when it comes to this problem.  I have spoken to many people with the same issue and it seems the majority of them deal with it the same way, which is gentle laxatives a couple times a week.   I have to say, it's probably not the BEST way to deal with it, but it is the easiest.  Also on a side note, you can become addicted or at least dependent on laxatives, so you should only take them if you haven't pooped for at least a few days.

The other thing I want to mention is that most of the people that I have spoken to about this, report that the constipation that they are having is the hard nugget type which usually indicates that you are dehydrated or are lacking fiber. As much as I can say that I have tried to increase both of these things by drinking more water and eating fiber chewys by the handful, neither of those things helped me in any way.

I am starting to think that maybe this is just the new norm for me?  Maybe because food metabolizes differently for me now, this is just the way that it is. Whatever the cause or case, I have found that it's a very common occurrence that is seldom spoken about or addressed by your medical team.  It is however something that you should know before going into this.  I'm not saying that its bad and not to get this surgery because of it, I think that the health benefits far outweigh the minor annoyances, but it's something you should know that may or may not happen to you.  💩

Am I Hungry? Probably Not...

This post is about Head Hunger and how it sabotages your weight loss.

I find posting about some of the problems I have and have had very satisfying and cleansing.  I know that I have an addiction to food and just because I had my stomach removed doesnt make everything all well and good now.  As a matter of fact, having bariatric surgery actually complicates the bad habits that I have put upon myself over the years.

Eating when you are not actually hungry is a problem.  If you eat when you are bored, happy, sad, mad, excited, or nervous, YOU have a problem.  I always used food, usually decadent food, as a crutch, which I'm sure that many of you who read this blog also have done.  Some people do drugs, some people drink alcohol, others go to God, I have always gone to food.  And because of that I have a hard time figuring out if I am actually hungry or not.

Head hunger is when you take your emotions, whatever they are, and your brain reads them as if you are hungry when in fact, you are not.  Even though I have lost a ton of weight, I still struggle with not knowing if what I am feeling is actual hunger or if its just a symptom of an emotion that I am having.  

I don't actually know that it feels like to be hungry.  As with most overweight people I do a lot of grazing during the day so therefore, I couldn't possibly actually BE hungry, right?  And like I said before, what exactly does "hunger" feel like anyway?

According to Wikipedia - Physical Hunger is:

The physical sensation of hunger is related to contractions of the stomach muscles. These contractions—sometimes called hunger pangs once they become severe—are believed to be triggered by high concentrations of the ghrelin hormone. The hormones Peptide YY and Leptin can have an opposite effect on the appetite, causing the sensation of being full. Ghrelin can be released if blood sugar levels get low—a condition that can result from long periods without eating. Stomach contractions from hunger can be especially severe and painful in children and young adults.

Hunger pangs can be made worse by irregular meals. People who can't afford to eat more than once a day sometimes refuse one-off additional meals, because if they don't eat at around the same time on the next days, they may suffer extra severe hunger pangs.^[3] Older people may feel less violent stomach contractions when they get hungry, but still suffer the secondary effects resulting from low food intake: these include weakness, irritability and decreased concentration. Prolonged lack of adequate nutrition also causes increased susceptibility to disease and reduced ability for the body to self heal.^[4][5]

The truth is, if you eat every 2 or 3 hours, chances are, you are not hungry.  If you have a number of snacks a day, you are not hungry.  If you just put things in your mouth without thinking about it, you are not hungry.  I know, I have never, or at least as far back as I can remember, ever have physical contractions in my stomach telling me I'm hungry.  I would love for just once, to know what that feeling is.

On the flip side of not knowing what the feeling of hunger is, I also did not know what the feeling of "full" felt like.  Of course, I do not have that problem anymore, but there have been occasions that I have eaten too much and that just makes me throw up now.  Before I had bariatric surgery though, I had no idea what it felt like to actually be sated.  

I believe these are a two for one problem with people that are overweight.  Not knowing if you are hungry and not knowing that you are full is just a recipe for disaster or at the very least, a lot of weight gain.

In ending, if you do not keep these two monsters, Hunger and being Sated in check, you will never ever keep your weight in check.  The constant grazing or binge eating will always catch up to you, even if you have had your stomach removed.

5 Things No One Told Me about BEFORE I had Bariatric Surgery!!!

This is my list of 5 things that no one told to me before I got Bariatric Surgery.

Anyone that has had Bariatric Surgery can tell you.  Most insurance companies will put you through the ringer and make you jump through hoops to even HAVE the surgery.  Even though, for many people, including myself, it will save your life.  They fight tooth and nail to let you have it.

With that said, I had to get cleared by no less than 6 specialist, such as Cardiologist, Pulmonologist, Psychologist, Endocrinologist, Gastroenterologist and Nutritionist.  But during NONE of these 6 or more months of appointments and testing, did any of them mention the 5 things in the list below.  So if you are thinking of having this operation or already have had it, keep these things in mind:

1. Constipation is a fact.  I do not think that I have met anyone that had NOT had a problem with Constipation.  I didn't have the problem at first, I suppose because just about everything you eat in the first 6 months to a year is either liquid or soft.  But after that year when I found that I could eat other foods in moderation, I became constipated.  I don't know why, it just happens...fiber helps a little, but I would say, just get used to it and try to get ahead of it.

2. You really will NEVER eat the same way again, EVER...and when I say that I mean NEVER.  Oh I can still eat most things, although not very much of anything really, but there will be foods that you just can not stomach anymore, no matter what you do or how you eat it, it will make you nauseous or just sit in your stomach like a rock.  And don't get pissed but some of the foods maybe things that you LOVED previously.  To this day, I still can not eat tough or dense cuts of beef or pork, cole slaw, more than a tbsp or 2 of Ice cream at a time, over greasy foods, anything that is too rich or dense will seriously put me in a B.A.D. mood.

3. If you have been overweight to obese for most of your life, like I was, Do NOT expect to all of a sudden become 125lb diva.  The truth is, the older you are, the harder it still will be to get to what they call your "goal" weight.  Unless you have a private chef and can work out 3 or 4 times a week for 4 or more hours a day, don't expect to reach your "goal".  Let's be realistic, You were fat, you got that way because you didn't eat right and didn't exercise.  Just because you had this operation and will probably lose a good amount of weight, don't expect miracles.  

4. Chances are, if you do not change the way you eat, you will gain weight back.  I know it's hard to stop doing what you have always done.  And sometimes your body just battles against you.  But it's the truth as much as I do not want to admit it, it happens to more people than anyone actually ever talks about.

5. Oh you never heard of Dumping Syndrome?  It happens to the best of us and without warning.  Its when food is passed through your sleeve of a stomach too quickly, usually this happens with things very high in sugar or carbohydrates or very fatty.  It usually happens a short while after you eat.  You will get nauseous, dizzy, anxious and probably get diarrhea.  Believe me you will remember it.   The few times I have gotten it, I was sick to my stomach for hours after.  Just remember to connect the dots, don't eat whatever it was that made you feel like that.

Is Bariatric Surgery Right for YOU?

Anyone that has been through the process of preparing for Bariatric surgery knows how long and drawn out it and be.  They also know how many hoops your insurance company will make you jump through before they actually allow you to have the surgery.  For those of you that have really great insurance and didn't have to jump through hoops, I commend your employer for caring enough about you to give you such a benefit, even if you have to pay for it one way or the other.  The rest of us though, have to deal with the bureaucracy of Health Insurance that include co-pays and coinsurance costs.

From my first appointment with my surgeon to the day that I was operated on, was about 6 months and multiple different doctors appointments and procedures.  I expected this though, I was fully prepared for what I was up against.  I also had to cancel my surgery one time because I was fighting with one of my doctors (i'll go into that another time). I had to be cleared by several doctors for the surgery including, a sleep and pulmonary doctor, I also had to have a sleep test, a cardiologist, I had to have a stress test and echocardiogram, a gastroenterologist, I had to have a endoscopy, and a Psychologist, they had me take some test that the insurance company would not pay for, so it was an out of pocket expense along with an hour session.

The one doctor that I feel is probably the most important doctor to be cleared by but yet only one session was required was the Psychologist.

I believe that when you are at the point with your weight that it is effecting everything about you, moving, your health, your brain, your thoughts, your daily activities, and you have made the decision that this procedure is what you need to do, you really need to understand that it is a life altering decision, once you do this, you can not change your mind and have it undone at any time.  It also will affect you in one way or another for the rest of your life.

Another thing I believe is that if you have less than 100lbs to lose, you should probably try something else first.  You may have to go extreme, but do try other methods to lose weight first.  Unless you have an underlying cause for not being able to lose weight, this should be a last resort.

When I first started thinking about having this procedure done, I did check out some support groups, online only because, I just don't have enough hours in the day to go to in person meetings.  But I was able to get enough information to make me realise that there was really no support there.  Mostly it was people who were either whiney little brats or acted like they knew everything there was to know about bariatrics.  There were very very few people that actually could add some insightful ideas and advice but they were so far and few in between, it just really wasn't worth the effort.  I can not stress this enough, and I usually say it at least once for every Bariatric post that I make, nothing takes the place of the advice and counseling you get from your surgeon and their staff.  If you have questions ASK them first!

Whatever your reasons for having this surgery, are not really enough of a reason for actually having the surgery.  You should always weigh the pros to the cons. Of course there are many Pros for going ahead with a surgery like this, not just the weight loss but also the health benefits are wonderful and uplifting.  But there are also the cons, and there are a few.

The possibility of complications if you don't follow your surgeon's directions, is very possible.  You can have a leak which will require another surgery, or twisted stomach, which will also require another surgery.

There are also the limits that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.  I am over 2 years out and I still can not eat more than 8 ounces at any 1 sitting.
Not like I try to eat more, because I don't.  I actually have held onto many of the good habits I picked up while i was still in the weight loss stage.  There is also the point that, when you eat too much, you will get sick to your stomach and may even throw up, even YEARS after the operation.  I do not do this often at all, but I will be honest, sometimes, it just happens.

And Alcohol?  Hah, Yes I drink once in awhile still but I metabolize it very differently now.  One drink and sometimes I am blasted.  You have to remember, because of your tiny stomach now, alcohol goes right to your intestine and absorbs into your bloodstream super quick!

There are also things that I just can not eat anymore.  Things that I used to really love to eat.  Some of it just makes me out right sick to my stomach, other things are just too heavy and make me very uncomfortable.  There are just a lot of things that I do not think people think about when offered this way to lose weight.

I think when the idea of this surgery comes into play, everyone that considers it should think about the ramifications of what this will do to them and how it will, most definitely affect the rest of your life because it, no doubt, will affect you.

For me, it gave me a new lease on life.  I am pretty much off all of the medications that I was once on.  The type II Diabetes that I was never able to control is under control now and without any medications.  I can play ball with my dogs, garden, run up and down stairs, walk over 6 miles in one shot and not be out of breath.  I am not crying about what I can't eat anymore or what I used to eat because life has become so much more than food.

Bariatric Surgery was the right decision for me...
 

Losing Weight After 50

I stopped losing weight after about the a year/ year and a half after my surgery.  I believe that's pretty common place with surgeries like this.  It's estimated that most people do lose about 70% of their excess weight during the first year or so after the surgery.

The surgeon did say that I would not lose all of the weight I wanted and would have to work at the remainder.  I just never really realized how hard that would be.   I also believe that my age, menopause and a history of over dieting doesnt help my situation any.

When you are younger, lets say under 30, it's really easy to lose weight as long as you eat right, get some exercise and pay attention to what you are putting in your mouth.  After 30 and into your 40s, your body begins to change.  Your hormones change and that does affect the way you lose weight.  If you are overweight in your 30's and 40's most of the time you start to acquire problems like diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol.

Diabetes is a bitch.  Not only do the meds make it hard to lose weight but the fact that your body is not metabolizing the sugar in your blood correctly makes it even harder to lose any weight let alone enough to actually make a difference in your diabetes.  It is literally a vicious circle.  And along with Diabetes, you get a host of other rotten little problems that go along with it, restless sleep, pins and needles in your legs and feet, mood swings...Oh it's just wonderful!

I digress...

I assumed that once I lost the weight, It would never come back.  Boy was I wrong, not only did I never get to the weight that I really wanted to be but I gained back about 20lbs!

And now, I am back to my struggling to lose an ounce!  However, I do have one thing that I did not have before and that is my 8oz stomach.  I currently limit myself to about 1000 calories a day.  As I was originally losing the weight I had no more than 1200 calories a day.  I dropped my intake down to 1000 and very low carb, low fat and I am still having problems losing any weight.

That's when it dawned on me.  Im old!  HaHa No Seriously, It's my age and the breakdown in hormones, one specifically called Cortisol, that seem to diminish was we age and is especially true for women that are in menopause.

I have been doing some reading and I read that DHEA can deplete as we go into menopause and we can get what is called Adrenal Imbalance, which is one of the reasons it's so very hard to lose any weight.  I think I'm going to try it.  They sell it over the counter but there is science that backs up its claims.

At this point I'm running out of options, all I want to lose is the damn 20 pounds I gained back!

Ill let you know how this turns out...right now I am hopeful! 😁

A History of Weight Gain

I have always had a weight problem.  I grew up in a time when your parents told you to eat everything on your plate, even if you didn't like it.

As a child I sought my parents approval, and always did what I was told.  I remember plenty of times, when my sister would have to sit at that kitchen table for hours because she didn't like what was being served and therefore refused to eat it.  I also remember our family dog, sitting right under her at the table.  Im sure our dog got her fill of my sisters dinner often!  In return, my sister didn't have the same problems that I did with weight.

I was a pudgy kid and grew into a pudgy adolescent, than just a fat teenager.  I went to lean line, weight watchers, a diet doctor, I would lose weight, sometimes substantial weight and then regain it as soon as I stopped going.  It wasn't like I was sedentary, I would go outside, we owned a pool and played running bases in the summer time.  I walked to school and back. It wasn't like I was not getting any exercise at all.  But the weight just piled on.

As I entered my late teens, early twenties, I would gain and lose yearly, other wise known as yo-yo dieting.   I was about 180 to 200 lbs when Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem came around, and of course, I had to try and again I lost about 80lbs and picked up some good habits that I still have today but,  I drank too much alcohol and other things (I'll just leave it at that) By the time I was 30 I was about 220 - 230 lbs.

Atkins was big back in those days, so I tried that, and I lost about 60lbs.  but within a couple of years I gained it all back plus some.  But I believe by this time in my life the damage was already done.  Decades of Yo-Yo dieting began to take its toll.  It was getting harder and harder to lose weight and the more I tried and failed, the more I would eat.

By the time I hit 40, I had uncontrolled diabetes II, multiple issues with my metabolism and overall health and I was about 260 lbs.  It was getting harder to do every day activities, just walking was a strain.  I quit smoking when I was 42, and as much as I am very happy I did that, I gained more weight.  I was taking about 5 different medications a day plus and enormous amount of insulin, which never really controlled my blood sugar levels.  The diabetes did not help with losing any weight, I just kept packing it on.  It was becoming a vicious circle.

I was about 45 when Bariatric Surgery was becoming the way to go to lose weight.  There were lots of great success stories, there were also some pretty messed up horror stories.  Since the insurance that I had through my work did not cover the bariatric surgery, even if it was medically necessary, I could only wait and pray that one day it would.

In the mean time, someone in my office did have the surgery.  I watched him shrink almost daily.  I was so happy for him but in the same respect, I was sad for myself.  My weight and health problems were spiraling out of control, I was probably close to 300lbs in my mid 40's.  My health was deteriorating rapidly and I was spending a fortune on meds and doctors every year.

Then, my work changed insurance companies, I was 47 at the time and about 320lbs.  In April of 2014, I made my first appointment with the surgeon.  I spent a small fortune on copays and testing through that summer, and my surgery was put off once by the stupid pulmonologist, but on 9/2/2014. I did what I never thought I would do.  I had my stomach removed.  And now, I have an 8 oz tube inside me.   The day I went in for the surgery, I was 353lbs.

Over the first year after my surgery, I lost a total of 130.  But since I stopped losing weight by way of the surgery.  It has been so incredibly hard to lose anymore weight and to keep off what I did lose.  But I believe that now a lot of the problems I am having are because of my age.  Which will bring me to my next post in this series about losing weight over 50.

It's been a hell of a ride, but I would say it was well worth every single step of it. Even with the problems that I experience now, I'm ok with that.  I can walk 5 miles and not be winded after 50 feet, I am off of almost all of the medications I was taking.  I have to still take the thyroid and cholesterol meds, and my medical bills are almost non existent, which is great but kinda sucks because I used to be able to write them off my taxes...

I am very happy with the decision I made. If anyone were to ask me if I would do it again.

ABSOLUTELY

The Truth about Bariatric Surgery

In other words, what all the doctors and your surgical team never tell you.

I am about 2 and a half years out of surgery, I was told when I started this journey that I would initially lose about 70% of the excess weight.  For the most part that is very true.

After surgery the pounds do just drop off, it's actually quite amazing. Especially for people that have an actual hard time losing any weight at all.  Usually it's harder to lose weight as you age along with years of yo-yo dieting a person's metabolism just starts to give up on you.  As for women who hit premenapause and post menapause, it's even harder to lose any weight.

But as with everything that we know of this world, the honeymoon always comes to an end.  Sometimes the end is wonderful, other times, it makes you feel like you are back in the same old boat but more pissed off.

I think that it's really important for people who are considering this operation, specifically the gastric sleeve, like I had, understand how this operation will affect the rest of your life.  This really isn't a temporary thing, this is it, for the rest of your life.

I was very lucky to not have any bad side effects to this procedure, however the risks are and can be real, including your stomach staples coming undone, or your stomach twisting.  After all, your stomach just went from being a pouch to a tube.   Its also very important to DO EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SURGEON TELLS YOU.  If you don't, the chances of you being sorry, are very high!

Some of the things that I have experienced since I had this operations are:

1.  I stopped losing weight a little over a year out from surgery.  I think it was about 14 or 15 months out. I did, indeed lose about 70% of my excess weight.  
2. The older you are, especially if you are a woman, the harder it is to lose the other 30% and it's usually a struggle to keep what you did lose off.
3. Expect to gain at least 20 lbs back from your lowest weight.
4. Let's face truths here, You do not eat right, that's what got you to the point where you needed this operation.  Unless you make drastic changes in the way you eat, YOU WILL gain weight back.  
5. If you eat too much food, you will throw up.  If you are a week out of surgery or 5 years out of surgery, if you eat too much it will make you sick.  
6. If you are throwing up, you probably ate too much.  Try to drink some water to get it through your tube of a stomach.
7. Some foods you will never be able to eat again because they will make you feel sick or be too heavy for your stomach tube. 
8. If you eat too much sugar, you will dump.
9. You will never be able to eat more than 8oz of food at one time, a lot less when you first have it done.  I think I was at 3 or 4 oz when I first had my surgery, now I'm at about 6 to 8oz. 
10. Your farts really stink, and seriously, I'm not trying to be funny here.  They. Really. Stink.
11. Constipation is a huge problem, make sure you get plenty of fiber, I live on fiber gummies.  
12. Your nails will get weak and you may initially lose some hair, make sure you take biotin and keep them polished!
13. You need the multivitamin, so don't forget them.  
14. You need to exercise, even if it's just walking all the time.  Monitor yourself, download an app to your cell phone there are tons of free ones out there.  Do whatever you can to get your steps in (10,000 a day!)
15. Soda, Bread, Rice, Pasta = BAD, BAD, BAD & BAD everything in moderation now, remember you don't want to make yourself throw up, do you?
16. Protein First, Always!
17.  Online support groups are crap.  If you need information, ask your doctor not some wanna be know it all!
18. You won't really be hungry but head hunger or boredom are real problems to overcome.  
19. Expect to come off some, if not all, of the meds you were taking before.  Unless of course they weren't for a weight related problem to begin with. 
20.  If you are sad because you can't eat a whole pizza or drink soda anymore, try getting a life, no one wants to hear your stupid poor me attitude.  

The Weight Loss Journey - 2 years out

Hello All who enter my domain!

Here is where I tell my story about my weight loss surgery and the progression or degression I have made.

I am about 2 years out (surgery date 9/2/2014) from the date that I had my Gastric Sleeve Surgery.  I initially lost 130 lbs.

I have changed many bad habits along the way.  I eat protein first, very limited amount of bread, pasta or rice.  I take multivitamins daily, or at least when I remember! I have also come off of the 200 units of insulin that I was taking post surgery.  I also still can not eat more than a cup or 8 ozs of food at a time.  Depending on the density of the food sometimes I can only eat about 4 oz.

Its unfortunate that I have to say that I did gain back about 10 lbs from what I originally lost.  I have been trying to lose it again but it just doenst seem to want to go.  It makes me a little sad that I was never able to get under that 200 mark that I so had hoped that I would but I was a lot older when I finally got the operation, my metabolism wasnt what it used to be and I had been battling diabetes for years prior.  I know none of those things are excuses but they kinda actually are.

I do get out and move around, probably not as much as I should.  I'm not big on working out but I do love to garden and play with my dogs.  Thats gotta account for something, right? But I think my number 1 biggest problem is....Eating at night and sleep eating.

Don't laugh, sleep eating is a real problem.

I remember my mom used to do it.  I would wake up in the middle of the night and she would be in the kitchen eating a PB&J sandwich and milk at like 2am. Not saying a word, just standing there in the dark...eating...next day she wouldn't remember a thing.

Although I'm not as bad as my mother was, I have the tendency to eat when I am tired and am trying to stay awake.  Which is a bad habit.  I try not to eat past 7pm.  But more often than not, that devil on my shoulder sneaks up and bites my earlobe and says, "you know what would be great right now?"

I know I really need to stop doing that but it gets me every time!

So do you night time snack even when you are not hungry?  How do you stop yourself?

False Information Flys

One of my biggest pet peeves is the amount of false information that goes around the internet.  Granted, there are places you can go on the internet to find accurate information but it takes time to find and weed out the bullshit.  Whats even worse is that people will beleive just about anything they read, ESPECIALLY, on facebook or any support group out there, which turns out 99.9% of the time to be complete bullshit.

If you have been here before then you know that I had Gastric Sleeve surgery in September of 2014 and have lost a substantial amount of weight.  I belong to a couple of "online" "support" groups and I can not tell you how absolutely annoying some of the morons that belong to them can be.  I suppose that if you have no other support then they will have to do BUT, please do yourself a favor and look up information from credible sources or even better yet, Talk to your doctor or nutritionist for the truth as it pertains to you.  After all, we are all individuals and have different needs.

Some of the misinformation and seriously dumb shit I have read on some of these so called "support" groups lately run the gamut from, Your pouch CAN NOT stretch out, to Im sick all of the time, to can I still drink soda (really? you can't drink anything else?).   I guess what I am saying is that I just do not understand some people...How can you want a life changing operation only to keep the same old habits?  And as far as if your stomach can stretch back out, Yes Virginia, it certainly can if you keep eating like a pig, which, is probably why you are sick all of the time, maybe it has something to do with that soda you refuse to stop drinking?

Other lovely forms of misinformation that run amuck on the internet are; Rawhide being poisonous to dogs, what your pet can and cannot eat, what is wrong with your pet.  The majority of which is all, or at least 90% incorrect. There is NO substitute for picking up your cell phone (remember you can still make a call from those cell phones) and dialing your vet's number if you want to know the TRUTH of what is and is not good for your animals.

While I completely understand that people, for the most, part have every good intention in the world with spreading these falsities, we are probably the stupidest and most gullible of all species.  We only want to believe the worse of things, we find some strange comfort in believing the worst and completely inaccurate information.

So in ending, please folks, do yourself a favor, before you start "sharing" the bullshit, do a little homework, look some things up, see if what you are sharing is crap or legit.  Stop spreading the rumors and lies, a little common sense goes a long way these days!

Peace out
Jaded

Becoming overweight - Food Addiction 101

As I was doing some light reading on the NIH (National Institute of Health) website.  (laugh, you know that was funny!)  I came across a Symposium Synopsis that was published in 2009 as to whether or not a person could become physically addicted to foods that are high in fat and sugar content.

Since food is not a illicit or illegal drug, they call food addiction a pervasive addiction as they try to figure out if overeating or eating bad foods is an actual behavioral problem or one that affects your neurons, as cocaine or heroin do.

You need to understand what an addiction actually is.  According to the NIH an addiction or dependency must meet 4 of the 7 following conditions:


1. Tolerance (more drug is needed for the same effect). (One piece is great, a dozen is even better)
2. Withdrawal. (Getting pissed or doing anything for a piece of chocolate, pizza or whatever floats your boat?)
3. Taking a larger amount of the substance or taking the substance for a longer period than was intended. (hmmm second helping of cake, maybe even a 3rd)
4. Experiencing a persistent desire for the substance or an inability to reduce or control its use. (sugar cravings or junk food cravings)
5. Spending much time seeking or consuming the substance or recovering from its effects. (I call this binge and barf)
6. Use of the substance interfering with important activities. (like never leaving the house or giving up things you once loved to do!)
7. Use of the substance continuing despite known adverse consequences. (knowing you are going to gain 5lbs from eating that hole entenmann's cake but doing it anyway?)

If #1 or #2 criteria are met, then the addiction is physiological, meaning that you are physically addicted to the substance, such as a heroin addiction. However, according to the NIH doctors, even if you do not meet the #1 or #2 criteria you can still be behaviorally addicted, which is where what we call "Food Addiction" falls most of the time.

I can not speak for anyone else, but I can tell you about my personal challenges, I have suffered from 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 at different times in my life. I suppose too that I suffered from #1 and 2, since I just kept eating more and more and more until I was stuck inside a 350lb body and basically suffocating myself!

Recently there have been other reports from the medical field that validate my point. Food addiction is real and there are a number of valid reasons that a person would eventually obtain this mental illness. I feel that at some point it becomes a vicious circle of eating, crying, eating, guilt, eating, sadness. It's almost like a carousel that you just can not jump off of. Maybe the underlying cause is depression? I don't know. I have never considered myself depressed though, but mental issues have a way of surfacing in the oddest ways.

Even though an estimated 34.9% of American adults are obese and 68.6% are considered obese or overweight. Insurance companies refuse to help them, because the science technically is still out on the subject (just like global warming), but they have no problem treating the symptoms and illnesses that come with being obese. I guess there is no money in curing someone. But there is a shit load of bucks in pharmaceuticals and co-pays!

Only recently has Bariatric Surgery become the standard for treating people who are obese or morbidly obese (I really hate that phrase). Most insurance companies still consider this life saving surgery no more than a nose job or botox injections, saying it falls under the category of elective and cosmetic surgeries. WTF is elective about wanting to live without shooting 200 units of insulin a day and having to take a fist full of pills and STILL spiraling health wise out of control?

While I realize that Bariatric Surgery is not for everyone. I knew my only and last option was to remove what could never be satisfied and that was my stomach. When I finally had the ability and financial resources to be able to do it, and the health insurance plan that would pay for most of it. I jumped on it.

Today I can say, a year and a half after surgery and 130 lbs down (and holding!) That I just wish anyone with this problem could do what I did. It really is life changing. I no longer have to give myself needles 3 times a day. All of my medications have been lowered substantially and I am hoping in the next few months I will be off of most of them. I am no longer plagued with a waking BS level of 210...it's actually in the 90s now, most of the time.

I have learned much going through this process. I have learned how to eat in moderation. I have learned that just because I want it, doesnt mean I should eat it. I have learned that sugar is NOT my friend and to treat it as such. I have also learned to experiment with different foods because anyone with a tiny stomach will tell you, some things you just cant eat anymore! But that's ok with me.

Be Kind to Yourself,

Peace out

Jaded

I am an Addict

Wow it feels good to get THAT off my chest.  Oh wait, I forgot to mention what I am addicted to.  You would think it would be a powerful drug, narcotic, alcohol, sex? Nope, the thing that does it for me is FOOD!  Usually high carb, high fat, high sugar crap or as they call them in bariatric-land, slider foods.

Truth be told, I am powerless against it. Most people know how to control what they consume, but I do not.  I really want to, but when it comes to crap food, my mind goes blank and I just start to shovel it in.  A lot of times it makes me sick now, but I find that I go right back to it the very next day.  I must be crazy.

I even went so far as to have 90% of my stomach removed (Bariatric Sleeve) in September of 2014.  Sure, I lost lots of weight (130lbs). I have never gotten to where I really want to be, weight wise, though (I'd be happy being 199 at this point!).  And now I find myself slipping quickly back into my illicite food addiction once again.

It always starts slow and quietly.  Maybe a piece of bread here or a small bag of chips there, you are staying within your calorie limit for the day, you give up something healthy always for something you know is not good for you.  Then before you know it, you are hiding in the bathroom with your 3rd piece of cheese and you know damn well you are not hungry, but you just have to have it before you go to bed.

Speaking of thinking you are always hungry, but you know you are not.  I never learned how to differentiate between actually being hungry and being bored, I think that is part of my problem.  As a child I was always told to clean my plate and because I was a good kid, I did what my parents told me.  There would always be rewards of ice cream or cake for doing so.

I feed my boredom with food instead of ideas or hobbies that won't add calories to my day or lbs to my size.  I am riddled with bad habits that I just can not seem to kick.  I never drink enough water, I wish I could love water like some, but it makes me gag.  Before you start screaming, crystal light or lemon or cucumber, I have tried all of the above.  I can not get it down without gagging.  I can drink coffee or tea so that is usually what I opt for or the ever present fruit juices cut by 50% with water.  I just can not drink water straight.

Being overweight is not fun.  It's hard to move sometimes, although not as much now as it was when I was 350lbs.  You are usually hot even when it's 32 degrees out.  Its nearly impossible to find clothes you actually LIKE to wear, short of making you look like you are old and frumpy.  It's a miserable existence but yet you learn how to justify your bad habits and long for the day that you wake up and realize it was all just a dream.  But that never happens.

I want to change.  If I didn't want to change I would have never had that surgery. But like a heroin or alcohol addict needs their fix, so do I.  Some would say that it would be easier to kick a drug habit as opposed to a food one.  You can live without heroin or alcohol, you can't live without feeding yourself.  

Going Gluten Free

So what is gluten and why should I be Gluten Free?

According to the Mayo Clinic, Gluten is described as follows:

"Gluten is found in grains such as wheat, barley, rye, and a cross between wheat and rye called triticale."

First of all you should understand that a gluten free diet was invented to treat Celiacs disease.  Only about 1 % of the population actually has celiacs disease and it can only truly be diagnosed with an intestinal biopsy.  

Most people these days choose a Gluten Free lifestyle because they feel tired, bloated or depressed and find that removing gluten not only helps them lose weight but also alleviates the symptoms they were having.  The truth may lay in the fact that removing gluten (ie, bread, pasta, anything with wheat or wheat flour, the list is extensive) from their diets also eliminates extra calories and so they lose some weight. But either way most people seem to feel better following this GF lifestyle.

The basics of living gluten free are to eat only:

1. Beans, Seeds and Nuts in their natural form
2. Fresh Eggs
3. Fresh meat, poultry and fish, not battered, fried or coated
4. Fresh Fruits and Vegetables
5. Most Dairy Products

You can also eat the following:

1. Corn in all forms
2. Rice in all forms
3. Flours made from gluten free grains such as nuts, beans and coconut. 

There are also whole aisles dedicated to Gluten Free alternatives at your local grocer these days with premade boxes of cake mixes, baking goods, side dishes, and just about anything else you can think of.

I have found, although I am not completely gluten free, it does help keeping calories and sugar down and a lot of the premade stuff isn't really that bad tasting.  Since having the WLS I do not really eat bread all the time, I do on occasion, but I try to stay away from it since it fills me up quickly and doesnt leave much room for anything else.  So Gluten free is an option.   

I would have to say that before you try any of this you should check in with your doctor first to make sure it's right for you.

  

Zombies on Treadmills

Right before the holidays last year I joined a gym.  It was my very first endeavor in doing so.

I figured that I was stuck in a rut and had not lost anymore weight in a month or so (at that point) So I figured I would join that "NO Judgement Zone" place you see in the commercials all the time.  It was pretty cheap so I figured no harm no foul.  Besides I could not and would not do any outside walking during the cold winter months so I needed to make sure, if I was not losing, I was not gaining either.

It was pretty nice when I first started going.  There were people there, mostly middle aged like myself.  No one really talks to one another there though.  I figured that I would just get on a treadmill and walk for an hour and that should be good enough.  But after a while that got boring, so I took a class to learn the 30 minute circuit.

All through the holidays I was pretty happy at the "no judgement zone" there were people there but not enough to irritate the crap out of me which is what eventually happened.  I would go there after work and do my 20 minutes on the treadmill and then the 30 minute circuit, just as the instructor showed me.

Then it happened, I got there after work one day and looked through the window and it was like two rows of walking dead people on the treadmills, the place was filled to the rim with people.  All the treadmills were being used so I figured I would go do the 30 minute circuit instead...WRONG!

So we go from zombies on treadmills to assholes in the 30 minute circuit.  I go in the room and start doing what you are supposed to do in that room, and Bam, some idiot just strolls in and sits down on one of the machines, of course, it would be the one that I was going to use next.  Then there are the times when a few girls use the back corner machine as a place to sit, hangout and text their boyfriends on the other side of the gym.  Then you have the people that stroll on in and put 700lbs on a machine to do 2 reps because they want a six pack and have not a clue how to get one.  Then you have the ones that had to go out and purchase a special outfit just to wear to the gym, whose hair and makeup is always perfect and they wouldn't be caught dead breaking a sweat!  Then you have the ones that think the 30 minute circuit room is their personal meeting room.  OMG this list can go on.

The thing that really irritates me is that they ALL SEE there are people there doing what you are supposed to be doing in that room and they could give a rats ass if they jump onto the machine you were just about ready to use.  I did complain a number of times, and you would think that they would monitor the rooms a little better, since you know they are standing up at the counter talking with their friends or texting people while they are at work.  But that never happened.

Well luckily for me, the weather in the great northeast has broken this week.  I can tell you that is true because I have been sneezing and my eyes have been burning for days now.  I will soon be going on my walks again a few times a week and will not have to deal with that "no judgement zone" morons any longer.

Yesterday I quit...

CatFish the Series

Over the weekend I happened upon a MTV series called, Catfish.  It was made into a series after the person that is the Host of the show, Nev Schulman was fooled by an online romance.  

I should throw in here the definition of Catfish. As stated by the Urban Dictionary: 

"A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances."

As funny at times as it was, in the end they were all really sad, heartbreaking stories of people just looking to be accepted.  Which I can relate to.  For many of these shows the story was the same, good or decent looking guy and girl that was overweight.  Some of the guys were really pissed when they finally met.  I can certainly understand why they were mad, but the people that they fell in love with were still inside of these overweight women.    It always hurts me to see that some people only see the packaging and not the contents.  

Since I have been overweight to the point of being morbidly obese for a good part of my life, this has garnered me some humility where I can empathize with people very easily.  I know how it feels to be left out or talked about, or even bullied a few times during my life.  I was even on the side of the "catfish" at one time, way before the term was popular or invented.  I do not think that people understand how incredibly sad it is for these girls.

In a world where everything in life is hinged upon your looks, weight, education and status, these girls are floundering! (no pun intended)  Not all of these girls are as strong willed and defiant as I consider myself to be, not all of them will bounce back with the "FU" attitude that I currently have.  Most of them have serious self esteem issues or very deep problems which is why they did what they did in the first place!  When I was the catfish, I was going through a very difficult time in my life as I took care of my terminally ill mother.  

My heart goes out to them.  I completely understand why they did what they did.  If just for a moment in time to feel the love and a connection with someone that is more than just a friend.  Love should conquer all, but it does not.   It will usually just chew you up and spit you out.  And in this age of computers and non communication communication, you can be anyone you want to be.  So these girls choose to be someone they think would be loved.  

So as much as I found the show to be fascinating, I also found it disheartening.  I would watch it again, but I would really love to see some more happy endings and people that can find it in their hearts to accept people for who they are and not who they want them to be.   

Thanks for listening...
Peace out

Wait! What? Why you lying?

 I have been struggling with my weight since I was 5.  I come from a family that would say "eat everything on your plate there are children starving, you know".  So I would do just that.

Being a child, you figure that you are making your parents happy by doing what they ask of you.  No harm, no foul.  Back in those days is probably when I started my never ending battle with weight.  Unknowingly eating everything in sight was really not what was meant but cleaning your plate.  I really should have been more picky.

As I got older, I did just about every fad and gimmick diet known to man or woman kind.   I had great success with some of them, weight watchers, Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig to name a few.  I also spent 10's of thousands of dollars on these diets that I only ended up eventually gaining all the weight back and then some.  I would gain the weight back sometimes in months, other times in years.

It got to the point that at 48 years old, I weigh a whopping 353 lbs.  I was the biggest I had ever been and I was totally out of control.  That was on Sept 2nd, 2014.  I was a size 32 at the time of my surgery for Gastric Sleeve.

Today I am 229 and holding steady, even though I really really want to get below 200 for the first time since I was in High School and I feel that will come eventually as long as I mind what I eat and get some exercise every week.

I am 229 lbs today, I went from a size 32 to a size 22 or sometimes, depending on the clothes, a 20.

Here is where I start railing on people on online support groups for bariatric weight loss again.  I can not tell you how many times, I read that people have lost weight and are the same weight as me and say that they are in size 18 or 16 or even 14!  Seriously??

Now I get that maybe these people are taller than me, right?  If you are taller than 5'4" than most likely you would fit into smaller clothes, it's logically...But No, that is not the case.

Because many of these people LOVE to post pictures of their short dumpy selves in these support groups, a lot of time in photos I wouldn't even show my husband and I can tell you they are purchasing the wrong size clothing!  Talk about shoving 10lbs of crap into a 5 lb bag!  Its almost like looking at that site "people of walmart"!!

I just wish people would be honest with themselves.  Going through this surgery and everything it entails and dealing with the dramatic changes it brings, why do you want to lie to yourself that you are something you are not?  I feel that it will just make you fail at this also eventually.

Welcome to 2016

Its finally 2016 and I am so happy the holidays are finally over.  I will admit, I do loath December and all of its bullshit.  But at last it's over and now onto a new year.

New for 2016, I think I'm going to start to do some Giveaways.  I have some gift cards, avon products and some other stuff I can drag out to do a few contests. I'm doing this mostly to see if anyone is actually reading this blog.  Information on these Giveaways will follow.

I'm going to start doing more posts on my always present struggle with food addiction (dont laugh its a real thing) and my weight.  Even though a lot of people would say that I took the "easy way out" I can wholeheartedly tell you, it is not nor has ever been easy being morbidly obese.

I am also going to talk more about my advocacy of Animal Rights and maybe highlight some really decent groups that you can donate to or support.

I am also going to start to call attention to things that I find interesting.   Like, has anyone reading this post seen the Netflix documentary called #MakingaMurderer?  Wow, just wow...

And as usual I am going to keep on poking fun at really stupid/odd things that happen or I come across in my daily life.  I try to find humor in just about everything, I think that keeps people young on the inside.  But sometimes dumbass behavior just needs to be called out.  My biggest pet peeve is a hypocrite.

So I hope to get your attention and keep it this year.  If you have the time, leave me a comment and let me know what kinds of giveaways you would be interested in.

Peace out...

Getting Through the Holidays

As if the Holidays are not hard enough to get through with all of the commercializing and stress of buying presents and going to parties and dealing with relatives, we also have to make sure we do not gain 1000lbs between thanksgiving and the new year.


From November 25th until January 2nd, anyone that has ever tried to lose weight or at the very least maintain weight is doomed. Cookies, cakes, dinners, alcohol all tempt us at every turn.  But I feel it doesn't have to be like that.  Of course it's easier when you can exactly eat a lot but you can still gain weight even after being sleeved.

Being Sleeved and having lost a large amount of weight doesn't make me immune from gaining holiday weight.  There are ways that you can put on the pounds and still think you are being good when in reality, you are eating things you know you should not.

I think the single most important thing to remember is, get in your exercise.  Even if you do eat a couple of cookies, a piece of cheesecake or something you know you should not have if you burn off those calories at the very least you can maintain your weight.

Also, being sleeved, I think it's important to remember that you should always eat your protein first.  Sure there are plenty of carbs out there calling your name during these trying times but truth is, protein won't kill you or your weight as quick as carbs will!  And lets face it, I'm over a year out and, I can really only eat like 3/4 of a cup of food at a time, so you have to make it count.  However if you eat something every hour, the calories are going to add up and you will gain weight.

I love to cook especially for the holidays.  When I was a kid my mom would have cookie night and we would invite friends over and we would all make cookies and listen to the radio and just have a wonderful time.  These are the times that I remember when it comes to the Holidays and that is why I still dedicate a day to making cookies just about every year.  I give most of them away, but that doesn't mean that the Holidays need to revolve around food.

Finally! over the HUMP!!!

Well it took more than a month but damn it, I busted through that plateau that I was on.  I finally got out of the 230's into the 220's, 229 to be exact.

I am about about 1 year, 2 months out of my surgiversary and am down now a total of 125 lbs.  Now that's A LOT of weight!  After about a year, the extreme weight loss by the week (between 3 and 5 lbs a week) stopped and I only hit my very first plateau at 13 months out so that is very good.

However, I'm still 229 lbs, which is not where I want to be.  Ideally I would like to be in the 160 to 190 range.  Lets face it, fat girls are not going to be 125lbs ever!  If you are, you are young, not an old fart like me.

I know that I should exercise more.  I do get out at least 3 times a week and walk from 1.5 to 3 miles.  I really should find the time to get on my exercise bike once in a while but there are only 24hrs in a day and 12 of them I'm at work (that's where I go walking) and 6 to 8 of them (more like 6 because the animals don't let me sleep much) I'm sleeping so I'm left with 4 to 6 hours to clean my house, make dinner, play with the animals, listen to my hubby...

Maybe I can multitask, listen to the hubby while I'm on the exercise bike? Or make the animals follow me around when I'm cleaning? They already do when I am cooking...

So how do you get exercise in?  I need some suggestions...

Autumn in the Great Northeast!

Autumn in the great northeast is usually a site to behold.  I used to love hiking by Round Valley Reservoir when I was a teen ager and in to my 20 and beyond, but as I got older and started gaining uber weight my time for hiking or even walking came to a screeching halt.  Never mind walking, I could barely get off the couch!

Over the last 14 months I have lost a total of 130 lbs after I went in for Bariatric Gastric Sleeve surgery on Sept 2nd, 2014 and that HAS made all the difference. Now I walk whenever I can get out

and since I work near a lake with trails around it, I try to walk those trails as much as I can.  I believe its about 3 miles total around the lake and back.  It really is a beautiful walk any time of the year.

For Halloween I tried to run a short story contest but because of the lack of participation that kind of fell through, Thanks all of my followers!  What do I have to do to make you comment???  I digress...

On my walk today with my good friend Pat (who btw held my hand the first time I went to the surgeon's office way back in April 2014) we decided to hit the local cemetery on the other side of Lake Etra.

It was a very interesting and very old family cemetery.  The name of the Family was/is Hutchinson.  I found this pdf file on  the internet when I did a search for this family.  You can read more about them at this link:

HIGHTSTOWN HISTORICAL SOCIETY NEWS

If you would like to see more pictures of the cemetery, you can find that link here:

Hutchinson Family Cemetery

If you decide to take a walk there, just watch out for these man eaters!

Why Support Groups are Annoying

I know that is has been a while since my last post, and I am sorry about that.  I really need to get into some sort of schedule to keep the viewership up there a little more.

Anyway, since my last post, my current weight lose is 125lbs.  It's been about 13 months and much has changed for me, including the first ever time that I had to return a pair of pants because they were TOO BIG!  Yes, that shocked me too. But seriously, when you are losing weight you are never really sure what size you are in.  The sad part though is that I have seemed to hit a major plateau lately.

This is actually my first major plateau since I started but it is none the less frustrating.  I so want to be under that 200lb mark and I am about 31lbs away. So I figured maybe I needed some pointers or advice, so I joined an online, facebook support group...BIG mistake!

While most people are very like me, there are a certain percentage that are...lets just say...bat shit crazy!  Then there are the ones that are just...lets just say dumb, ignorant and probably really should not have gotten this severe of an operation without further psychiatric evaluation.

While it is somewhat entertaining, it also really becomes annoying when you have people that have had this life changing operation and are sad and depressed because they cant drink soda any longer or cant eat a whole pizza, cake or tray of lasagna!  What?? Really??  You idiot, you got to BE 500lbs BECAUSE you ate a whole pizza, cake, tray of lasagna in a sitting for YEARS!  I know, I have been there!  And there are still a lot of things that I used to eat that I just cant eat anymore but you know what? I DON'T CARE, I have LOST 125LBS!!!

Oh and others that annoy me, every time I eat, I throw up!  Really?  maybe that's because YOU ARE EATING TOO MUCH you moron!  Aren't you listening to your surgeon?  Usually around 3 weeks after the operation you are put on a soft food stage, yogurt, scrambled eggs, stuff like that.  I just LOVE the people that consider soft food, McDonalds parfaits or Wendy's soft serves.  Really?  You couldn't find something else that would be better and more nutritious for you?

My all time favorites are the bat shit crazy ones.  There was a thread on this support group, I kid you not, that was made by a woman that claimed she was turned down for the surgery because she had...Multiple personalities...What? what??  What???  And it gets better, there were a number of OTHERS on that same thread that said they also had multiple personalities!  ARE you freaking kidding me!  I was just awestruck but the sheer stupidity and wackiness of that entire thread...Sometimes I think that people just make this shit up specifically for the shock value.

So I have learned that these online support groups are more or less a total waste of time, they are rife with wackos and very seldomly actually give you any real information you can use.