Monday, February 20, 2017
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Thursday, February 9, 2017
The surgeon did say that I would not lose all of the weight I wanted and would have to work at the remainder. I just never really realized how hard that would be. I also believe that my age, menopause and a history of over dieting doesnt help my situation any.
When you are younger, lets say under 30, it's really easy to lose weight as long as you eat right, get some exercise and pay attention to what you are putting in your mouth. After 30 and into your 40s, your body begins to change. Your hormones change and that does affect the way you lose weight. If you are overweight in your 30's and 40's most of the time you start to acquire problems like diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol.
Diabetes is a bitch. Not only do the meds make it hard to lose weight but the fact that your body is not metabolizing the sugar in your blood correctly makes it even harder to lose any weight let alone enough to actually make a difference in your diabetes. It is literally a vicious circle. And along with Diabetes, you get a host of other rotten little problems that go along with it, restless sleep, pins and needles in your legs and feet, mood swings...Oh it's just wonderful!
I assumed that once I lost the weight, It would never come back. Boy was I wrong, not only did I never get to the weight that I really wanted to be but I gained back about 20lbs!
And now, I am back to my struggling to lose an ounce! However, I do have one thing that I did not have before and that is my 8oz stomach. I currently limit myself to about 1000 calories a day. As I was originally losing the weight I had no more than 1200 calories a day. I dropped my intake down to 1000 and very low carb, low fat and I am still having problems losing any weight.
That's when it dawned on me. Im old! HaHa No Seriously, It's my age and the breakdown in hormones, one specifically called Cortisol, that seem to diminish was we age and is especially true for women that are in menopause.
I have been doing some reading and I read that DHEA can deplete as we go into menopause and we can get what is called Adrenal Imbalance, which is one of the reasons it's so very hard to lose any weight. I think I'm going to try it. They sell it over the counter but there is science that backs up its claims.
At this point I'm running out of options, all I want to lose is the damn 20 pounds I gained back!
Ill let you know how this turns out...right now I am hopeful! 😁
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
I don't know about you but as much as I don't like people, I also like to connect to people. Well some people not all people. And just as the kitchen used to be the main meeting place in all homes, the internet kitchen, or food blogs seem to have taken that spot. I had found this blog called Pinch of Yum a few years back and really loved the recipes and the writing style of the Author. Her name is Lindsay and her husband's name is Bjork and she even got this cute little adopted pup whose name is Sage. Through her posts, mostly of recipes but sometimes of her life, I feel like I got to know these people and they seemed pretty cool. Like I would love to have them as actual neighbors and all.
Anyway, so, I follow this blog and get updates on new recipes and all, when sometime during the second half of last year Lindsay announces she was pregnant. (you can read about it here - Baby News ) Now I am totally not into baby blogs or mommy blogs, I get that everyone thinks their kids are the cutest and coolest and smartest...I don't have kids so I guess I just don't get it. But I was really very happy for them. I suppose that's what all young couples want and by this point, and feeling like I "knew" them, I thought they would make really good parents.
Time went on, I still got my recipe updates, once in awhile she would blog about the progress of the baby and then IT happened. On Dec 30 at a routine check up, something went wrong 😢 Uh Oh.
So Lindsey gave birth via c-section at like 26 weeks to Afton and unfortunately he passed through this mortal coil the very next day.
I have to say that this was probably one of the saddest stories I have very witnessed on a blog. While I understand how heart wrenching this was to them they took some time off of the blog to re-assess life. But I found myself checking the blog every day incase I missed something or just a word to know that they were ok. Lindsay still writes about what she and Bjork are going though, and it kills me just a little every time I read her new posts. I will admit, they choke me up every single time. I would really love to reach out and hug them both, it's just so unfair.
But yet again I digress...
I think that these days with the internet, we are so much more connected to people that we would otherwise never know. We learn from them and share our own knowledge be it through a blog or facebook or twitter or whatever other social media medium that you may use. We are smarter and more knowledgeable because of the ability to be able to see into new places and connect with new people. But are we open minded enough to accept the information that we seek, are we smart enough to know the difference between truth and fabrication? Can we open our minds to new things and accept people for who and what they are without judgement or prejudice? I know that I can...
Be good to each other because in the end, we really are all connected...
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
As a child I sought my parents approval, and always did what I was told. I remember plenty of times, when my sister would have to sit at that kitchen table for hours because she didn't like what was being served and therefore refused to eat it. I also remember our family dog, sitting right under her at the table. Im sure our dog got her fill of my sisters dinner often! In return, my sister didn't have the same problems that I did with weight.
I was a pudgy kid and grew into a pudgy adolescent, than just a fat teenager. I went to lean line, weight watchers, a diet doctor, I would lose weight, sometimes substantial weight and then regain it as soon as I stopped going. It wasn't like I was sedentary, I would go outside, we owned a pool and played running bases in the summer time. I walked to school and back. It wasn't like I was not getting any exercise at all. But the weight just piled on.
As I entered my late teens, early twenties, I would gain and lose yearly, other wise known as yo-yo dieting. I was about 180 to 200 lbs when Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem came around, and of course, I had to try and again I lost about 80lbs and picked up some good habits that I still have today but, I drank too much alcohol and other things (I'll just leave it at that) By the time I was 30 I was about 220 - 230 lbs.
Atkins was big back in those days, so I tried that, and I lost about 60lbs. but within a couple of years I gained it all back plus some. But I believe by this time in my life the damage was already done. Decades of Yo-Yo dieting began to take its toll. It was getting harder and harder to lose weight and the more I tried and failed, the more I would eat.
By the time I hit 40, I had uncontrolled diabetes II, multiple issues with my metabolism and overall health and I was about 260 lbs. It was getting harder to do every day activities, just walking was a strain. I quit smoking when I was 42, and as much as I am very happy I did that, I gained more weight. I was taking about 5 different medications a day plus and enormous amount of insulin, which never really controlled my blood sugar levels. The diabetes did not help with losing any weight, I just kept packing it on. It was becoming a vicious circle.
I was about 45 when Bariatric Surgery was becoming the way to go to lose weight. There were lots of great success stories, there were also some pretty messed up horror stories. Since the insurance that I had through my work did not cover the bariatric surgery, even if it was medically necessary, I could only wait and pray that one day it would.
In the mean time, someone in my office did have the surgery. I watched him shrink almost daily. I was so happy for him but in the same respect, I was sad for myself. My weight and health problems were spiraling out of control, I was probably close to 300lbs in my mid 40's. My health was deteriorating rapidly and I was spending a fortune on meds and doctors every year.
Then, my work changed insurance companies, I was 47 at the time and about 320lbs. In April of 2014, I made my first appointment with the surgeon. I spent a small fortune on copays and testing through that summer, and my surgery was put off once by the stupid pulmonologist, but on 9/2/2014. I did what I never thought I would do. I had my stomach removed. And now, I have an 8 oz tube inside me. The day I went in for the surgery, I was 353lbs.
Over the first year after my surgery, I lost a total of 130. But since I stopped losing weight by way of the surgery. It has been so incredibly hard to lose anymore weight and to keep off what I did lose. But I believe that now a lot of the problems I am having are because of my age. Which will bring me to my next post in this series about losing weight over 50.
It's been a hell of a ride, but I would say it was well worth every single step of it. Even with the problems that I experience now, I'm ok with that. I can walk 5 miles and not be winded after 50 feet, I am off of almost all of the medications I was taking. I have to still take the thyroid and cholesterol meds, and my medical bills are almost non existent, which is great but kinda sucks because I used to be able to write them off my taxes...
I am very happy with the decision I made. If anyone were to ask me if I would do it again.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
I will define what I believe is a serial killer is.
To me, a serial killer is a person or people (2) who:
1. Kills at least 3 people at different times or places.
2. Has a specific calling tag, meaning they do something specific to each of their victims, placement, killing method, posing.
3. Always takes a trophy, could be anything from a locket of hair, peice of clothing or jewelry or even picture.
4. Has a preferential type of person they hunt. ie; prostitutes, blonds, young, drug addicts. Doesn't need to be the same race or gender.
5. Has a sexual component even if they do not rape.
6. Will never stop because this is what they love, some how it gives them a kind of satisfaction or release. They may have a cooling down period or time off as something may gain more importance in their lives but they will not stop till they are dead or jailed.
In the 1970's the FBI came out with the serial killer triad, meaning at that time they believed that a serial killer could be predetermined when a person exhibited these three specific traits. The traits were; arson, late childhood bed wetting and abuse to animals. Also in the 1970's the phrase Serial Killer was born most likely referring to the Son of Sam. Eventually the FBI realized that the triad did not accurately depict the vast array of whom would become serial and who would not.
Serial killers have been around for as long as humans have inhabited the earth. Right now there is about 53 active serials in the USA alone, the number is probably closer to 200 world wide. Many of them are never caught because they are sociopaths and can blend into mainstream society easily.
A serial killer can be anyone. The do not look any different than your quiet neighbor or the guy that sits in the cubicle next to you at work. They are expert actors in order to be able to gain trust and pretend companionship. They are products of their biological, social and environmental factors. Nature vs Nurture? I believe that most likely what makes a serial killer is no doubt Nature.
Just like my cats are serial killers, these people were born with the innate instinct to hunt, capture and torture their victims for no other reason than to satisfy their own urges. Killing is what gets them motivated, it sets off the bells and whistles. While normal people are repulsed by their acts, Serials want to relive their acts over and over.
Normal people feel compassion and empathy, some would say that Serials do not posses a soul for they usually do not have any sympathy for their victims. I believe that people are born serial and it usually will take either a traumatic event or systematic abuse to trigger the person to actually acting on their impulses.
All Serials evolve. They may start out small, maybe peeping or B&E's, stealing or drug dealing. Usually their first kill may be a family pet or another animal, which gives them the bravery to advance. Which is another reason I have deep seating rage for people that abuse animals...but I digress (This will be another post one of these days)
I believe that there are people with serial killer tendencies all around us in our everyday lives. We just don't know it because they look so normal...but have no doubt, they are anything BUT normal.
So keep your eyes and ears open, you never know who is sitting next to you at work, on the bus, train, restaurant...
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
So this blog started out as my private way to vent about stupid things going on in current events, my life or things that just pissed me off.
It turned into partially the Journaling of my Lifelong battle with weight and what I had to go through to get bariatric surgery. What the outcome and subsequent dilemmas that I currently have are. Its also about understanding what Food Addiction actually is and how it affects people. I think a lot of the time when people who do not have weight issues look at people that do have weight issues they see lazy unhealthy people but that honestly couldn't be farther from the truth. Food addiction is definitely a true addiction probably more so here in the Great US of A more than any place in the world.
Our Country is decadent, as are our people. We are told from the time we are toddlers to eat what's on your plate. Kids are starving in other countries. We are stuffed full of preservatives and high fructose corn syrup in just about everything we eat. We have huge buffets of carb laden, machine belt processed foods that you can eat as much as you want for a very small price. We are taught that if you are bored, eat something, if you are sad, eat something. Vegetables are way too expensive but Mcdonald's has a dollar menu. The real question is, How anyone in the country DOESN'T HAVE A FOOD ADDICTION?
I also post about my political views, I'm sure if you are reading this post you know all too well how I really feel. Sometimes I talk about other really inate things that don't mean nothing about nothing.
But through it all, you keep coming back to read whatever wackiness I have going on in my life at the moment, even when I take a few months off, when I come back, You are there with me.
So whoever is out there reading this blog, for whatever reason, Thank you. As my numbers now climbed to over 14,000 views, I just want to say Thank you for coming back all the time.
I really do appreciate it.
Friday, January 13, 2017
I am about 2 and a half years out of surgery, I was told when I started this journey that I would initially lose about 70% of the excess weight. For the most part that is very true.
After surgery the pounds do just drop off, it's actually quite amazing. Especially for people that have an actual hard time losing any weight at all. Usually it's harder to lose weight as you age along with years of yo-yo dieting a person's metabolism just starts to give up on you. As for women who hit premenapause and post menapause, it's even harder to lose any weight.
But as with everything that we know of this world, the honeymoon always comes to an end. Sometimes the end is wonderful, other times, it makes you feel like you are back in the same old boat but more pissed off.
I think that it's really important for people who are considering this operation, specifically the gastric sleeve, like I had, understand how this operation will affect the rest of your life. This really isn't a temporary thing, this is it, for the rest of your life.
I was very lucky to not have any bad side effects to this procedure, however the risks are and can be real, including your stomach staples coming undone, or your stomach twisting. After all, your stomach just went from being a pouch to a tube. Its also very important to DO EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SURGEON TELLS YOU. If you don't, the chances of you being sorry, are very high!
Some of the things that I have experienced since I had this operations are:
- I stopped losing weight a little over a year out from surgery. I think it was about 14 or 15 months out. I did, indeed lose about 70% of my excess weight.
- The older you are, especially if you are a woman, the harder it is to lose the other 30% and it's usually a struggle to keep what you did lose off.
- Expect to gain at least 20 lbs back from your lowest weight.
- Let's face truths here, You do not eat right, that's what got you to the point where you needed this operation. Unless you make drastic changes in the way you eat, YOU WILL gain weight back.
- If you eat too much food, you will throw up. If you are a week out of surgery or 5 years out of surgery, if you eat too much it will make you sick.
- If you are throwing up, you probably ate too much. Try to drink some water to get it through your tube of a stomach.
- Some foods you will never be able to eat again because they will make you feel sick or be too heavy for your stomach tube.
- If you eat too much sugar, you will dump.
- You will never be able to eat more than 8oz of food at one time, a lot less when you first have it done. I think I was at 3 or 4 oz when I first had my surgery, now I'm at about 6 to 8oz.
- Your farts really stink, and seriously, I'm not trying to be funny here. They. Really. Stink.
- Constipation is a huge problem, make sure you get plenty of fiber, I live on fiber gummies.
- Your nails will get weak and you may initially lose some hair, make sure you take biotin and keep them polished!
- You need the multivitamin, so don't forget them.
- You need to exercise, even if it's just walking all the time. Monitor yourself, download an app to your cell phone there are tons of free ones out there. Do whatever you can to get your steps in (10,000 a day!)
- Soda, Bread, Rice, Pasta = BAD, BAD, BAD & BAD everything in moderation now, remember you don't want to make yourself throw up, do you?
- Protein First, Always!
- Online support groups are crap. If you need information, ask your doctor not some wanna be know it all!
- You won't really be hungry but head hunger or boredom are real problems to overcome.
- Expect to come off some, if not all, of the meds you were taking before. Unless of course they weren't for a weight related problem to begin with.
- If you are sad because you can't eat a whole pizza or drink soda anymore, try getting a life, no one wants to hear your stupid poor me attitude.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
1. Within the 1st year of Trumps presidency, something really bad is going to happen which he will insist that he gets extraordinary powers for.
2. Can you say coup d'é·tat?
3. Something bad is going to happen in the middle east and Israel is going to be involved.
4. The Trump presidency will be rife with controversy.
5. There will be more severe weather patterns this year. Last year was the hottest year recorded, this year it will be worse. There will also be flooding and dry spots in unusual places.
6. Terror Attacks will increase inside the United States, the majority of the perpetrators will be United States born.
7. All americans will have to sign up for a twitter account so they can see the national address...
8. Obamacare will not be repealed....yet...
9. The price of gas will begin to rise steadily again...
10. Humanity and compassion will be in short supply, probably more than it has been in decades...
Friday, January 6, 2017
Wow what a year 2016 was!
While I did fall short on some of my predictions from last year. I also hit the nail on the head with others. Am I psychic? Um no, but I am insightful.
If you need to remember what my predictions were, Here is the link.
Now let's review:
1. Got that one right, lots of earthquakes and flooding last year...because, you know there is no global warming, climate change or whatever horse shit thing that want to call it now...
2. Severe weather patterns I said? hmmm it was the hottest year on record, but again I digress...
3. and 4. China's economic collapse. It hasn't happened yet, but I know it's coming.
5. Gas prices, I was half right, they did drop to a 15 year low but they did not rebound until the last quarter of the year.
6. Presidential Race was indeed Trump vs Hillary, unfortunately I screwed the pooch on who won...
7. Terror Attacks, Hit that nail on the head
8. Homegrown Terror attacks, Hit that nail on the head too!
9. Refugee Crisis problems, Got that one right too!
10. Steve Avery has not been granted a new trial yet, but I still think that will happen.
So out of my 10 predictions, if given half points for 5 and 6, I was accurate on 6 of the 10...
Stay tuned for my 2017 predictions...