Tuesday, December 20, 2016

A Life Worth Living

M is for Mortality....

I got some news today that I wasn't expecting to hear.  A friend, who I grew up with and was pretty close to for a while during my 20's, had some dramatic medical problems and is on life support.  She is a few years younger than me, about my sisters age, which makes this even harder.

I had, in the past, actively searched for her via facebook and google.  I have found long lost friends that way in the past, besides who doesnt use facebook these days?  Isn't is like 8 out of 10 people have a facebook page? I had hoped to reconnect with her in some way over a social network as I have with so many of my childhood and young adulthood friends.  I thought eventually she would turn up, but she never did, until I got the news of her condition today.

Once again I am smacked in the face with my own mortality.

I moved away from my old stomping grounds many years ago.  Partially because of my own demons but also because I had to move on with my life.  I knew my demons would haunt me forever if I did not separate myself from the place I loved and called home.  As much as I loved, and still love the people who I grew up with and to this day consider them family no matter how near or far I am, I had to make that part of my life ancient history, and so that's what I did.

So life goes on.  I live each day as it comes, work way too much, probably don't have as much fun as I should have once in awhile.  Maybe just let my hair down a little on occasion.  I try to do good by the people I meet, I donate to charities. I show kindness to people and animals less fortunate than me or mine.  And I know eventually, I too will shrug off this mortal coil.

But the thing that always bothers me is; how will I be remembered when I am gone?  Have I done enough to balance whatever bad I have done in my life?  Will people remember me for what I was or from what I have become?

I do not believe in God, or heaven or hell but I do believe in the legacy that we, as humans, leave behind.  I believe that the things that people remember and say about us when we are gone is what has made your life one of substance and meaning.

So when I do shrug off this mortal coil and make my peace with the universe, what is it that people will say about me?